A Note to Bryan (22.08.2009)
I’m sorry to bug you, Bryan, but I think we got cut off early today. I suppose it’s not your fault. You have your places to be, as I have mine. I just wish our paths ran parallel a few stops more on the Tram.
When you found me I was lost—not romantically or spiritually, but rather I didn’t know where the fuck I had gotten myself in Berlin. I stopped in front of a Loona poster at an M5 station to look at my scribbled directions, and you stomped on my foot with a combat boot. Did you mean to plant and pivot there? Or did you not see me? I only ask because I’ve never met someone with all-white color contacts and I have no idea if your vision is impaired. I gotta hand it to you… Awesome pupils, dude.
Anyways, I fully accept your apology. It’s funny that you crushed my metatarsals, since we are two proper English-speaking gentlemen in a Deutsche land. You said 'Saury' with a dense brogue, but your guttural voice kept me off your ancestral trail. Are you Scotch, Bryan? Maybe Welsh? I guess that will remain a mystery.
Speaking of mysteries, how did you get into Satanism? I wouldn’t have asked on the train under normal circumstances, but your up-turned devil horn tattoos and “Lucifer” neck chain gave it away. I like that you’re up front with your belief system, however aberrant society might deem it. It’s just annoying when people subject their views passive-aggressively—instead, when I asked about the tattoos, you said “I worship the Devil” like someone else would say “I donate to public radio.” Good on ya, mate. I’m not big on religion myself, but if that’s your bailiwick—mazel tov.
Really great outfit today, by the way. I’d never be able to pull off black-on-black with a sleeveless trenchcoat. You just never find enough people with unique style anymore; Ralph Lauren has turned the world into a catwalk for monotony. A couple questions, though: Do you make the spiked armbands and bracelets yourself? (It’s funny, Bowser has the same look.) And, secondly, does it annoy you when you’re treated differently for your appearance and submission to the Fallen Angel? You seem like a great chap to me. I bet you’re a registered organ donor.
Well, buddy, it’s time I wrap this—
Wow! I can’t believe I almost said goodbye without asking about your other tattoos. How long did it take to get the sword on your arm? And did the red ink for the pool of blood hurt more? I don’t know if it is true, but I always expect the colored tattoos to sting like the dickens. I was happy to see that you got a wrist tattoo for your grandfather, too. Did you get that inked before or after you gave your soul to the Dark Army? I’m willing to bet it was after the skull on your neck but before the headstone of Saint Peter. The memorial is touching, though. Antilogies like that always get me; kinda like those pictures of puppies and kittens napping together.
I guess this is goodbye, again. Great chat today! I hope you enjoy your stay in Berlin (however long that is) and take in the good times. I hear the Berlinerdome is spectacular at night if you’re up for a little walk. Bring your camera, maybe make a sketch of the façade. I also recommend YAAM very highly. You’ll scare the crap out of the Jamaicans, but hey, they’ve had it coming.
All the best, Bryan the Devil Worshipper. Keep on keepin’ on.
— John
PS my foot feels fine. Don’t lose any sleep over it! (Ha ha, as if you sleep.) Miss ya already!
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